How to fake a spring break body

Are you ready for swimsuit season? I most certainly am not. And if, like me, you’re suddenly starting to develop a panic-induced aversion to carbs (read:food) you’re in luck! You can sweat it out on the stairmaster or read on for these five tips on how to fake that perfect spring break body.

1. Forget the size tag. Seriously.

I don’t care if you’re normally an extra small or a large, when it comes to swimsuit shopping, forgot about the size label and go with what fits best. No one wants to see muffin top hanging over bikini bottoms because you needed to know you could squeeze into a medium. If you really can’t deal, tear the tag out. No one has to know.

2. Know your body type.

If your jugs look like that of a Playboy model more than a school teacher (let’s face it, this is Scottsdale so they probably do) by all means get a bra top that actually fits! Gigantic breasts just make you look fatter. And sluttier. And tacky.

If you’re having trouble finding mix and match bottoms, try {intimacy} at Scottsdale Fashion Square which makes swimsuit tops made to your actual bra size.

3. Quit salt and booze.

This is tough advice. Salt and I are quite good friends. (Booze may or may not be up there too.) But quitting for just 7 days could help with some water weight!

4. Think: tall

Why do women love heels so much? Because they elongate the legs, making us all look slimmer and trimmer. Think tall and if you’re off to a pool party this season,  strap on a pair of sky-high wedges.

5. Tan.

Darker skin makes you look thinner, it’s just a fact of life. While I highly suggest loading up on SPF (and forsaking the tanning beds altogether, your skin and I beg you!) if you must, lather up with some self-tanner or bronzers.

Did I miss any? What are your secrets for faking that spring break body?

Come back for part two next week, featuring some slimming swimsuit style secrets!

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