A shorts story

I hate shorts. I kind of always have.

When I was 12, I decided it was totally disgusting to sit down and see your thigh fat splatter all over your seat. I wasn’t fat by any means (I couldn’t even fit into a Junior’s zero at the time) but the sight of leg goo flattening out everywhere totally freaked me out.

Since then, I’ve become a little less dramatic, but have always had a love-hate relationship with shorts. Mostly because it seems they’re just out to make you feel bad.

But what really gets under my skin is the thigh situation. And why I can’t seem to find shorts that don’t want to shrink-wrap themselves around them.

You see shorts, for whatever reason, have a wonderful way of making you feel like a cow. Because I can’t for the life of me find shorts that fit like this:

current elliot purple denim shorts A shorts story

Current Elliot purple denim shorts. Aren't they darling?

She looks so relaxed. So chic. So comfy. Notice how the shorts do not touch her thighs at all!

This makes me wonder, though, are shorts designers convinced that women’s thighs should be no larger than a tomato? Mine aren’t. But they aren’t fat either. But it seems like the denim Gods are trying to tell me otherwise.

jennifer lopez denim shorts 1280x1024 1024x819 A shorts story

Jennifer Lopez has a lot of booty to accomodate!

I do not want shorts that fit like the above. If I wanted denim that fit like spandex, I’d stick to leggings thank you very much.

Can I go another size up for a bigger leg hole? Not unless I want to have the dreaded gaping hole in the back that causes the ever-so-lovely Plumber’s Crack.

buttcrack A shorts story

Yikes!

So what’s a girl to do?

With shorts, it seems as if I’m being told my waist and thighs are not the right proportion. As if we didn’t have enough insecurities and things to obsess about! I wear a size 2; why is it so difficult to find shorts that aren’t suction-cupped to my thighs? Are they too shapely? (I dunno.) Too Latina? (Maybe.) Am I not doing enough lunges? (Yes.) Should I just know better and skip shorts altogether? I hope not!

I’ve talked to all my friends and know I’m not the only one. They all have the same issue: perfect fit on waist, not so much on the thighs. So now, I’m just on a mission.

shorts story A shorts story

The latest success I’ve had is at more “women’s” stores (i.e. Ann Taylor and the like instead of Forever 21). But that ultimately defeats the purpose of getting cute, youthful, trendy shorts! It’s summer dammit. I want some cute cutoffs the college girls are wearing. I want a collection of all the bold bright colors that are so in this season. I do NOT want mom shorts. And I do not want to pay the same price as my designer jean counterparts. (It’s not as much material being used, right? Same pricing hardly seems fair.)

Gals, please tell me, are there any stores/lines to try for shorts that actually fit?? Any fashion items that make you totally nutty too?

 

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  • Cynthia S

    I have the SAME problem! I’ve only had luck with women’s stores as well (White House Black Market). Like you said, they are not exactly trendy and youthful. You apparently have to have twig legs and no butt to wear cute, trendy shorts. lol.

  • Style Delights

    Good post!!! I like Gap shorts and forever 21 too! If nothing is to your liking, sacrifice a jeans that fits you well..You can DIY or take it to the local dry cleaners, they can cut and hem it in a professional way for few bucks!

  • Anonymous

    I have a lot of the same problems! Ultimately, I stick to jeans that have a thicker material and are simple, like denim shorts, because the thicker denim keeps everything in, but (dark or blue) jean shorts are cute enough to not look Mom-ish. Honestly, I found one of my best pairs at Winners and the other at Macy’s, so you have to look around a lot!
    Good luck!
    - Laura

  • http://www.stylesizzle.com M @StyleSizzle

    Seriously, I must have tried on like 20 shorts in the past few weeks and nada! I hate them all and agree about the twig leg thing. Maybe I’ll have to come out with my own line of cute, trendy shorts that actually fit :)

  • http://stayinthelines.blogspot.com Jaclyn

    I totally agree! I used to hate shorts so much because they always fit weird on me. Silky shorts aren’t too bad, but sometimes you just want to wear a pair of denim ones. I finally found a great pair from H&M. They’re the boyfriend style so they fit a little lower, but still look feminine. I’ve been wearing them nonstop. Good luck on your hunt!

  • Brenna

    Honestly, I usually find the best fitting shorts at American Eagle. (I hate coughing up $40+ bucks at times for a pair of shorts when I know I could buy their jeans for the same price) but they tend to carry different styles, fits, colors and materials. That’s probably where I buy the majority of my summer shorts supply.

    • http://www.stylesizzle.com M @StyleSizzle

      Really? Hmm…maybe I’ll have to check that out. I’m cheap about shorts lol. There’s just not that much material! Jeans, however, I’ll drop a bundle on easy. 

  • Caroline

    Yes! Express had a bunch of really great shorts this summer. I have several pairs each of their 2-1/2 inch belted short in a dressy synthetic blend fabric (they are baggy and ride lower on the waist to the shorter inseam doesn’t look skanky) and the 4-1/2 inch cuffed short in cotton twill, which no longer appears on their website. You could probably still find them in stores,though.

    • http://www.stylesizzle.com M @StyleSizzle

      Will have to check that out, thanks for the tip!

  • Pingback: Summer 2011 fashion trend: bright colored shorts | StyleSizzle

  • Helen Liu

    I hate it when the shorts hug my thighs >< so gross. Maybe you can try shorts that have the bottom folded up (I don't know what you call those…)? It actually makes my legs look thinner :) I bought a pair from Forever21 though…

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